


The Dream That Wasn't

by JewelQueen



Series: Fics From Turbohell for Being Homophobic (aka XPosts from my FFN) [16]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Asgard is a Dick to Loki, Avengers Family, Crack Treated Seriously, Dubious Ethics, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/References Consensual Cheating, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other, Post-Avengers (2012), References to Norse Religion & Lore, Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Sneaky Loki, touch-starved loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewelQueen/pseuds/JewelQueen
Summary: Once upon a time, I had a dream where Loki fakes being emotionally upset and needy--busted by Thor, of course--but still somehow ends up conning his way into Stark sexytimes...this is that dream (*cough* future canon).Or, in which Loki is Loki, and Tony is surrounded by green eyes.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark, Mentioned Thor/Jane Foster, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Fics From Turbohell for Being Homophobic (aka XPosts from my FFN) [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023406
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	The Dream That Wasn't

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a major XPosting (see series name); originally written ~2012, completed, some edits
> 
> (Original AN): So...I became a FrostIron fan after seeing the loveliness that was Tom Hiddleston's eyes and epic pouty face combined with RDJ's awesome snarkiness cuz srsly. Avengers win. Plus, do you _know_ Loki's history? I can't even express the feels I explode with...Anyway, this was based off a dream I had, so, very much crack!drabbling here. Some language and mature content (see tags) and falsification of Norse/Asgard mythology and culture.
> 
> For anyone concerned about the tags, nothing is outright stated or depicted, but there are allusions to behavior that could fall under those categories (i.e. not disclosing true identities, discussion of rules for permitted cheating, disapproval of homosexual relationships solely due to being part of the royal family, etc.)

**Dreaming or awake, we perceive only events that have meaning to us. ~Jane Roberts** **  
**

**Dreaming men are haunted men. ~Stephen Vincent Benet**

* * *

Loki transported into the Avengers mansion--setting off every alarm at the loudest volume they were capable of, just to be extra annoying or attention-grabbing it seemed--and promptly fell on top of Tony Stark like a clingy, wet towel--heavy and everywhere at once--while Tony had been lounging on the couch, enjoying his few moments of peace and quiet.

To his credit, the billionaire only raised an eyebrow, clicked off the now-to-be-ignored television, and debated whether or not to poke the god in the forehead and demand some answers.

"Tony," he gasped prettily, solving Tony's debate for him as he lifted his head up from off his chest and showed his eyes bright with the tears he was trying to fend off. "It's absolutely horrible! Completely _barbaric_ what they would have me do--the gods have not a soul to feel with nor eyes to see!"

"Okay, Reindeer Games..." The human drawled without any real concern as he inspected his nails. "You're speaking gibberish to me. Start at the beginning-- _what's_ going on?"

"For my punishment--" He paused, sucking in a breath. "They would have me wed. To a _wife_!" At Stark's unblinking care, he invited softly, "...You may weep with me, Anthony Stark."

And like that, Tony became a ball of crying mess; holding onto Loki, as if he was the one comforting him and not the other way around. Loki smiled to himself in contentment as he clung to the touch, burrowing into the warmth the mortal provided. "Oh, _Loki_ ," Tony sobbed, pulling him even closer. "It's just _awful_. Marriage is the absolute worst thing in the world! And to make you marry a _wife_ \--how _cruel_ can they be to us?"

"-- _Us_?" Loki's control snapped along with his now wide-open eyes, and he scrambled into a more upright and semi-decent position on Iron Man's lap.

Tony coughed, suddenly fresh out of tears, as he wilted in embarrassment. "Er, hi guys..." He waved at his assembled teammates, all suited up--except for Bruce, but it looked like he could have the Hulk come out any moment now. "Found Loki," he added lamely.

"What's going on here, Stark?" Steve asked, using his _I'm-the-Captain-so-you-better-start-explaining_ voice.

"Funny story that, really. You see--"

"Loki!" Thor bounded in after the crack of his transportation blew out the eardrums of mortals close by--aka, Tony. "Why have you so soon left the festivities? It is not every eon your brother is to be married!" He cheered joyfully before he took in his surroundings. At least the alarms had stopped now. "What has happened, my friends?"

"Tony's fraternizing with the enemy," Steve ratted out.

"What!" Tony squawked with a lap full of evidence contrary, like always. "I am _not_! I was just comforting him after the inhumane torture _you're_ putting him through." It was his turn to point out someone and at Thor. Loki started to shrink in on himself.

"I can't _believe_ you. You're supposed to be _gods,_ but your punishment for him--which is partly your guys' fault anyways for neglecting and abusing him or threatening him to make sure he does what you want--your _punishment_ is to have him married off to someone who'll _hate_ him because she's tied down to him until Ragnarok comes, and he'll hate that because he won't be free to have the one thing he _needs_ since he won't ever be able to have a relationship with her--which means he's condemned to a _loveless life_ for all of eternity!"

Loki choked at Tony's vehement words, making a strangled sort of noise in the back of his throat in weak protest. But Tony was too busy glaring at Thor to notice, and Thor was too busy pondering Tony's long-winded statement with a confused expression in his furrowed brows and hand to his chin--clearly, he was devoted to processing one task at a time.

Suddenly, Thor smiled and filled the room with his booming laughter. "Ah, Starkson, my friend, I believe my brother is putting you on! The only Asgardian who is getting married, for punishment or otherwise, is myself. Loki's punishment has already been had!"

Loki curled up even further on himself with a faint whimper. This was not going the way he planned. Stupid Thor. He squeezed his eyes close and awaited however Tony was going to punish him for making a fool out of him.

"Loki?" He winced at the deceptively light questioning tone, feeling the heat of the hand that was no doubt going to strike back move towards his face. He heard a low chuckle. " _Relax_. I'm not going to hit you."

The warm palm of that hand was placed on his cheek gently and Loki gasped. He leaned into the touch before he realized he was doing that, but sighed and relented to his desires. He hesitantly opened his eyes again, but Tony didn't appear to be angry. He had a smirk and a soft light in his eye. "I think I know why--but I'm gonna ask. _Why_?"

Loki snorted with false bravado, trying not to appear like he was wholly uncertain about anything and everything in this particular moment. "What a positively inarticulate question. But, I suppose, I shouldn't have expected any better from _you-_ -"

"Loki," Tony reprimanded gently. "You're going to have to try harder than that if you expect to me to believe you."

The Trickster blinked and looked down, swallowing hard once. "I--Everyone was celebrating Thor's engagement to Lady Jane and I was actually welcomed to join the festivities. But it was worse than it used to be. 'Welcome,' like always, but viewed as an outsider--even _more_ so, for my deeds have filled the halls of Asgard and my heritage is known to all. No one, not even--they would not deign to _look_ at me. Much less touch me..." He trembled.

"I could not bear the loneliness. Even Loki, the youngest Odinson, the weakest Asgardian, was touched. They used to come to me in droves begging for healing, pleading for help, asking for blessing, even though I was the 'Mischief-Maker.' To be alone in the happiness of others was _suffocating_. So I came to you, casting my charms and fabricating a lie so that you would accept me and attempt to resolve my pain. That is all."

"No, it's not." Tony's smirk grew as Loki's eyes widened. "You picked me for a _reason_."

"I--I do not know of what you speak," he stammered quickly, trying to mentally signal Stark from continuing on--at least with their audience present.

"Well, I do. How 'bout I explain it to everyone, hmm?" He continued before Loki could open his mouth to disagree. "I thought it was interesting how easily you turned a lot of guys to your side--but when you tried to turn me, it didn't work."

"That's because of that infernal device in your chest!" He sprouted nervously.

"That's what I thought, too." He acknowledged with a toothy grin. "But then I realized something. You were _very_ selective about your minions. Every one that you picked wouldn't follow you if they had a choice about it, because you didn't want anybody that _close_ to you. One, because that ruins the fun of having minions--trust me, I would know--and two, because it would make you vulnerable to _caring_ about them. And _you knew_ there was a chance of that with us because we are so much alike. So you let me go purposefully and pretended that was it."

"That's not it at all! My staff did not work on you!" He exclaimed with a fearful look at Thor. Not that he had to be too worried; the big oaf didn't appear to catch on to the subtleties of their conversation topic.

"Oh, I'm sure it'll work _just fine_ on me." He leered quietly in his ear. Loki refused to blush.

" _Tony_ ," he said between clenched teeth, exhaling furiously with a hand to his forehead. No use hiding the subtle things now; Tony wouldn't _let_ him if he tried. "A Prince of Asgard simply _cannot_ be gay!"

"But you _are._ " He pointed out easily. Loki just deflated.

"Brother, is this true?" Thor asked delicately, taking a step forward. "Mortals may have misconstrued an act to be--"

"No, Thor..." He sighed. "I'll not deny it. It is true."

"...You are certain of this?"

He laughed humorlessly. "As certain as I am Sleipnir's parent."

Thor frowned out of concern. "Then you know what this means, brother."

"Yes," he sighed once again, still not facing the person to whom he addressed, but instead watching Tony's rather blank--yet still pleased--expression. "I _know_. I must speak to Odin regarding my 'inappropriate behavior' once more."

Tony's face wasn't blank enough to mask the second of almost laughing at his word choice, and Loki grinned back at the man he was still sitting on with only a touch of evil. "I will come back for you, Stark, and when I do--" He pulled him close by his collar and kissed him until he was breathless. "--We shall see about your... _staff theory._ "

"God, _yes_ ," Tony whispered. "We'll need a lot of experiments, though--to prove my theory, of course. The scientific method is _very demanding._ "

"I have no doubt of _that_." Loki smirked, finally moving off of Tony and to his brother's side. Turning to Thor, he simply said, "Let us go now, Thor, so that I may come sooner." He flashed a grin at Stark before they disappeared in another eardrum-exploding crack.

Tony flopped back on the couch with an extremely satisfied sigh. If Loki had only accepted his drink the first time around, they would have arrived at this agreement sooner, probably.

"...I'm still going to count that as fraternizing with the enemy," Steve muttered tiredly, shaking his head as he walked away.

Tony watched him leave, before he addressed the rest of his crew with a smirk and waggle of the eyebrows to complete his insinuations. "It might be awhile, but you're all invited to watch--if you want. Natasha, you have the _specia_ l pleasure of choosing to join in if you wish."

" _Un_ believable," she scoffed, stalking off to probably shoot things. Clint followed after her with a secretly amused upturn to his mouth.

And then there were two.

Bruce crossed his arms and gave him a good look. He had a little grin on his face, so Stark assumed that there would be no 'Hulk smash' anytime soon. "You always seem to have... _interesting_ experiments, Stark."

"Same could be said of you, Gamma-Ray boy." He responding with a little finger-gun salute.

"What about Pepper?" Speaking of cutting to the chase.

Tony stared at the remote in his hand and wished it were a nice swirling glass of something alcoholic instead. He wasn't that picky. Anything would do. But battery acid wasn't really that good for his liver. "...What about her?" He asked back, eyes flickering to view his reaction.

Banner pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against with his shoulder and took a few slow steps closer. "Aren't you kinda in a relationship with her?"

"We have an arrangement." He said plainly after taking in a breath. If he tilted the device on its right side at an angle, the light refracted from the windows bounced off it with a similar kind of glare that a tumbler would. "Absolutely no women besides her for anything other than purely sex, but any other kind of affair is allowed--provided that I don't ever put her in the position of having to kick them out and clean up after me. And I attempt to not have that many out of respect for her. But she understands with me being a hero--and all of my history--and with how busy she is, it's impossible to believe there wouldn't be one...eventually."

He looked up from his pretend tumbler. "So, she wrote up a clause for both of our sakes. It's easier for her if she has proof it's not personal." He shrugged.

"And it's _not_. Personal. Right?"

"Of course not..." Tony said, after a moment of silence with a little bit of huskiness to his voice.

"Uh-huh." Banner said in his _you-don't-fool-me-for-an-instant_ voice. "So, why _do_ you know so much about Loki?" He looked awfully predatory and accusing as he stepped around the table to get closer.

"It's like I said--we have a lot in common." He said slowly, watching his movements carefully--he wasn't an idiot, Banner was dangerous as long as he was alive, though, hopefully not in his usual way at this moment in time--licking his lips. "It's not that hard to guess..."

"Hmm. Are you certain that's the _only_ reason, _Tony_?" Bruce purred, flicking into Loki's body as his hands walked up Tony's chest. "You know you can tell me _anything._ "

"Thank _god_. That was about to get disturbing." Tony breathed a sigh of relief. "How long have you been parading around as the Hulk?"

Loki sneered. "I'd sooner return to Asgard for good than suffer that green behemoth in my vicinity. _He_ was never here."

"So, the...'you' that came and did return to Asgard, _didn't_ come here because you were lonely and needed some TLC?" He asked with a hint of worry. Loki stared at him for awhile. Like, a really long while. He was prepared to start sweat-dropping.

"...No." He eventually admitted, which didn't help the tight feeling in his chest, until he elaborated. "I _was_ lonely and desirous of someone's company. But I was _also_ very bored. Heimdall's eyes were always turned towards me at the slightest _hint_ of mischief, and a Trickster with no tricks is nothing.

"So, with Asgard closed to me, I had to look for my entertainment elsewhere. I distinctly remember you as infuriating--but also intriguing. There was fun to be had with you, if I could sway your thoughts and actions to suit my purpose--which was easier than anticipated." Loki gave him a calculating look, his voice cold and eyes guarded. "What _reason_ do you have for such interest in me?"

"I'll answer that if you'll answer mine."

"Deal," he hissed almost instantly.

Here goes nothing. "I like you. I think you're interesting. If I believed we are a product of our history--Fate spelled out from the moment we are born and whatnot--I probably would have wanted, or at least, _helped_ your conquest. And it doesn't hurt that you are extremely gorgeous and charming," he paused as Loki absorbed this information in stunned silence--his eyes gave him away. "Does that satisfy you?"

He sucked in a breath. "It...does. Though, I do not appreciate your hint that I should renounce my ways and become part of your group."

"Had to try." He said with a quirk of his lips. "Now, my turn. How much of this was real?"

Loki's face went uncharacteristically soft, and perhaps, even a touch remorseful. "Do not question this, Tony--any of it--or you will surely go mad."

"Question what?" He pressed. "Question why me, how long have you _really_ been here in disguise, is this the real you, is _any_ of this real?"

"Yes, exact--" He froze for a second, eyes widening and things suddenly got blurry--as if he actually did try to drink the battery acid out of his remote. He thought he saw a curved smirk break Loki's face in a manner less than harsh. "Oh, _Tony_. You ask too many questions. But that's why I enjoy you so--" floated in his ears as he blinked awake.

_Awake._

He sat up and looked around his room as he tried to calm his heart. "A dream..." He murmured to himself. "It was all a _dream._ " He laughed.

" _Of course_ it was a dream, that's something too fucked up to be reality." He glanced at the sleeping Pepper in his bed and tucked a strand behind her ears to fall even more elegantly over her naked shoulders with a faint smile. _This_ is what really is his.

"I should have know better than to think I would cheat on you with Loki--arrangement or not withstanding." He said, trying not to think about how his words felt funny like it wasn't completely true--even though it was, it had to be. Instead, he shook his head clear, leaned down to kiss her forehead and squirmed into a spooning position to fall back asleep.

He missed Pepper open one startling green eye and give the faintest of smirks.


End file.
